Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Grief and New Life.

Hey guys,

I know it has been a very long time. Just after my birthday in mid Feb. my grandmother passed away. It was rather unexpected. She had been in remission from Breast cancer and doing remarkably well. From what I have heard from my uncles and aunts she had a beautiful last day. A good meal with three of her five children, a beautiful sunset and a nice evening of conversations with her family. She went to bed and an hour or so later she woke up complining of intense stomach pain. (not unusual for her and her ninny stomach) but she insisted on going to the hospital. She walked herself to the car and my uncles called the ambulance to meet them at the bottom of our 7 mile ranch road that is pretty much full hill. They ended up sending the helicopter because half way down my Mimi passed out. By the time they reached the paramedics she was gone. A massive heart attack. The upside is she did not suffer. They said that even if she had been at a hospital when it happened nothing would have stopped it. She went how she wanted to. She did not lose dignity or brain function before she passed. She died fully herself and not really needing any help to do daily things. The problem with sudden death is that it leaves the survivors in complete shock. Mimi lived with me from when I was born until I was 2 and then my mom and I lived with her from 1st-5th grade. Then she moved in across the apartment parking lot from us for 7th-11th grade. She was my rock, my guide, my idol. I had a special relationship with her, we were very much alike and she molded me into the woman I am today. My world was shattered. It still is and I don't know when if ever it will get back to "normal." I suppose God had a reason for putting me in San Antonio because I was a short drive away from home. I spent about a week with my family grieving and doing funeral stuff. She looked peaceful and beautiful and we sent her off in a proper Irish fashion.

In the midst of all of this we had a new person join our community. She brought a breath of fresh air and a nice recommitment to our covenant.

The Lenton season was rough for me it included a death a breakup and never a moment for rest or proper grieving. The Easter season has begun my healing process. The Catholic side of this community really showed itself in the Maundy Thursday service, the Via Cruces (way of the cross) and Easter Sunday. It was a nice reminder of Mimi who was a devout Roman Catholic and tried her hardest to get me to convert. On Easter Sunday 5 of my House of Teens kids were confirmed and I joined the church! During Lent I decided to stay another year here in SA and that after next year I will head on to Seminary... don't know which one, but I am just trying to follow the call. Seeing those kids join the church was a real testiment to the program and how a positive community can really rescue a child from the chaos of the Westside.

As for Easter itself it was great. We had a few moms in town so we had a week of free groceries! We had a potluck Easter meal with the Jesuit Volunteers and an easter egg hunt with them. Found out that we are all terribly competitive. We had a beautiful Stations of the Cross. The church garden was the perfect place. I played percussion for the church band on Easter and I think they are going to keep me playing with them.

We have been more busy than usual this month. We got back Sunday evening from a Women's retreat in Port A! The beach was nice, not too sea weed infested! It was a great time to get to know more of the women at the church. I also learned a new meditation practice that really helps me with my spiritual disciplines of meditation and solitude. It is Mandala work. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala

We leave Thursday in the early hours to drive to Tucson for a Spring Retreat with the Hollywood YAVs. We are going to participate in the Borderlinks program. http://www.borderlinks.org/ It is going to be tough but very inspiring I am sure. We return late Tuesday night.

THEN the weekend of the 27th the DR staff is running a camp for the community at HEB camp.A chance for the inner city to have a country retreat as families and a chance to take the church to the streets as we like to say around here.

THEN the first weekend in May I am headed to a VEV conference in Denver. I feel like I dont have much breathing room these days!

I put more pictures up so check the link at the top of the blog and flip through to see some craziness.

For now I am keeping my head above water and taking it one day at a time just like my Mimi taught me to.

Peace
Kelsey

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